weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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