Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What a dumb baby whore.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
