i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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