I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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