I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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