she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
