I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
