Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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