The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
