You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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