when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
