We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I can't put those talents on a resume
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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