my sisters under your porch take her home
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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