Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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