We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
