so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
