we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
