So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
