I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She said her name was "party"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
