she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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