im having a threesome with these popsicles
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
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