you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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