Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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