so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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