Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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