It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
