Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
