No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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