Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
