Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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