I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
