I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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