Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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