One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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