He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
