Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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