I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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