there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize