Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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