You really coming over, don't trick.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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