Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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