The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
