We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
