This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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