Ambien. No doubt about it.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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