She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
