Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
