We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
