I cannot find my penis.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
