Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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