Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
