I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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