just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
