it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
