Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
