so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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