four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's blow job season.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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