you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
