I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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