hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize