she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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