he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Someone shattered a urinal.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
