I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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