I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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